Crazy Us IV

Well, I don't have any of the Sunshine Bob Moneys (unfortunately), but I DO have Crazy Us IV: The Christmas Wish. :P This one I think only a few of us will get, but here it is!

Jessica: Once upon a time, there lived the cast and crew of "The Christmas Wish" in a big HBP mansion that greatly resembled Church of the Apostles.
Once day, they were all eating breaky, when Samara strolled in, wearing a white blouse, black shoes and stockings, a plaid kilt and a matching cap. She was lugging a golf bag over her shoulder.
"Anyone up for golf?" She asked in a Scottish accent.

Elizabeth B.: "How could you suggest something so commonplace?" asked Lindsay, aghast.
"She clearly doesn't know who she's talking to." Jenna rolled her eyes.
"Oh, please." Samara interjected. "Stop saying that. It's getting old."

Jessica: The trio of "snobs" and Samara started at each other for one moment of brief hatred, and then out of the blue, the T-birds came riding up on a long golf cart.

Elizabeth B.: "Ahhhhh!!!" all the s in the cast ran with their arms in the air towards the golf cart…which is a scary picture.
Anyhooness, when they reached him, they all attempted to climb into the moving cart. Eddie grinned suavely but nervously. "Easy s, I know I'm good-looking, but a guy needs room to breathe."
"EDDIE!!!" The s screamed even louder, and the golf cart threatened to tip over.

Jessie: But it wasn't Eddie they were after, it was .
"Eddie…" said Ellie.
"Oh, do get on with it!!!" Screeched Katie.
"Um, I'll tell him." Said Leslie. "Eddie," she started. "in the play, Miss Marajen MADE us like you. A lot. Not that we don't like you, we just don't like you THAT WAY. So…" she said pleasantly. "We've decided to get revenge."
"Reeveenngge…" The revenge-getting s chanted darkly. "Reeveengge…" they started walking like zombies, getting closer and closer…when all of a sudden, Diana burst in.
"O-MY-GOSH!!!" She screamed.
"What is it?" Everyone yelled, all very alarmed because they thought that her pet mink had died.
"My box of perfume came!!"
Eddie started the golf cart up again, hoping to escape, but Diana said that he smelled quite odd that day, so he was stuck trying on Midnight Rush.

Jessica: Till Emily walked by. She paused for a moment, doing double, triple and quadruple takes. She sniffed the air.
"Kyle…" she almost whispered. "Are you putting on…perfume??"
"Uh…NO!!" Kyle yelled, throwing the Midnight Rush bottle behind him. It crashed in the middle of Allison's plate of bacon and eggs, and the whole room started to smell like…

Marck: Tacos and peanuts!!

Lauren: The Midnight Rush bottle had contained a toxic and magical ingredient that made everything turn into tacos and peanuts.
Allison screamed at the plate and then started chowing down on the peanut-filled taco.
But all of a sudden, everyone remembered that Kyle and Lindsay had been putting the perfume on. But instead of turning into tacos and peanuts, they turned into…

Jessica: Big Bird and y! They immediately began arguing over milkshakes. The cast stared at them, speechless, until the clock struck midnight, the spell wore off, and everything was as it was before. Allison sighed, and then ran back into the kitchen to make herself a taco with peanuts.
Then Michelle walked by, saw the taco, picked it up and took a big bite.

Lauren: "Stop!" Allison cried and ed the taco from Michelle. Peanuts scattered everywhere. Just then Elizabeth, Elizabeth, Liz Strathmore, Kinsey, McKenzie, Debbie Dana and Darla all ran in arguing over who was who. Their feet rolled and tripped over the peanuts. Elizabeth (aka Irene Lovejoy) fell (because of her 5-inch heels) and her face landed directly in Allison's bacon and eggs with a SPLAT!

Jessica: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Allison screamed. She woke up in a cold sweat. The cast sat around her bed, staring at her, looking concerned. "Whoa." Allison's eyes grew large. "I had the STRANGEST dream." She looked around at everybody. "And you were ALL there!"

Jessie: But then all of the sudden, Diana's pet mink started spitting up peanuts, and Allison realized that it was ALL REAL. So she started crying.
Then Tim, aka Mr. Dingle charged in, clearly alarmed and said, "You GUYS, we've got to go to the Bahamas!!!"
"Why, Tim Jones?" asked Sam. Tim's ears turned red very rapidly, and he fainted. So the cast had to wait to find out why they had to go to the Bahamas.
Then Jessica (who was a math whiz *cough*) screamed in an alarmed tone, "The total cost of going to the Bahamas is…is…is $100,851.59!!! How will we get the money?"
"Hey, I know!" Piped up Jessie who, amazingly, had been pretty quiet throughout the whole ordeal. "We can sell TV remotes to the seals at the zoo!!"
So, off they went to the zoo. At the end of the day, they had made exactly $100,851.50. But on the way home, Sam wanted a travel-size box of Johnny O's that cost 50 cents. When he was told no, he started frantically screaming, "Tim Jones! Tim Jones! Tim Jones!" So they finally turned around and got it. While Sam was contentedly munching on Johnny O's, Sarah screeched, "How will we ever get 50 cents??" Everyone looked at Sam, but he just shrugged. So the rest of the cast went in search of 50 cents.
After three days of searching, they didn't find any money. Enraged, they came back to Sam.
"Well, why didn't you just ask me? I've got 50 cents right here!"
"WHAAAAAAAT????!!!?!?!?" They all screamed. Then they let out a sigh.

Allison: Sam started laughing very evilly. "What?" Jessica asked.
Sam replied, "With 50 cents I can take over the world!"
"OH MY WORD!" The cast screamed. Suddenly, Sarah came over and fell in front of the soda shop.

Emily: Then Marck exclaimed, "It must be the Jellybeans! The green ones!" The cast nodded in agreement, tied Sam up and then went in search of the green Jellybeans.
But then Lauren appeared-she hadn't been at the thingamgigy about Sam-and she suddenly had an urge to eat someone…someone with hot -yuck!! She turned to the camera-wherever it came from-and murmured in a Gollum voice: "Eddie aka Kyle…" and then went in search of Eddie.

Leah: On the other side of the mansion, Ariel was trying on some earmuffs. Leah came in and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Uh…nothing…putting away earmuffs." Ariel replied.
"Right." Leah looked sarcastic. "Well, anyways, where is Samara?"
"In the golf cart, as usual."
"Thanks." Leah walked off. "Samara, where are you…?"
"Over here, darling." Samara called. She was polishing the golf cart.
"WHAT? Are you trying to disturb me, Samara?" Leah looked slightly appalled.
"Yeah, pretty much."

Jessica: Samara offered Leah a ride in the golf cart, along with Kaitlin who had suddenly appeared, but the cart broke down right where Lauren was traipsing down the highway in search of Kyle.
"Hey, Lauren!" Samara waved, unaware of the red glow in Lauren's eyes. "You're, like, a part-time mechanic, right?" Lauren began to protest, but Samara continued. "So, can you help us fix the golf cart?"
Before Lauren could begin to explain that she was a little on the busy side, Leah exclaimed, "LOOK!!" and pointed up. All four looked up at the sky, as a big biplane flew by with a BIG banner trailing behind it. The banner read:

TRIP TO BAHAMAS THIS WEEKEND

The plane landed and Eva, Abigail, Moriah and Tim jumped out.

Elizabeth B.: "Hey everyone, guess what we won?" Abigail exclaimed, running to them.
"Roast duck?" Kaitlin guessed, ecstatic at the thought.
"Um…no." Eva responded. "The spices were all gone."
"Oh." Kaitlin sighed.
"What we really won," Moriah sweetly interrupted, "was a trip to the Bahamas!"

Jessica: Everyone, who had suddenly appeared out of thin air, jumped for joy.
Just then, Jeff TechGuy meandered by, along with Kyle. Lauren got one look at Kyle and immediately her for hot struck up again. Her eyes flared a bright red and she licked her lips.
"OOOHHH NOOOOO!!!" Kyle jumped behind Jeff, who tensed up.
Lauren, having lost sight of Kyle, remembered that she also liked cheeseburgers, so she went over to go fix the golf cart so she could drive it to McDonalds. Sam went to help.
Jeff assumed that both he and Kyle were now perfectly safe, and he heaved a sigh of relief.
He stopped abruptly mid-sigh, however, when he realized that there was a certain ring of power around his thumb. The Elvish letters burned bright gold.
The entire cast pounced.

Alex: "Ha, ha, ha, I don't know what to write!" The narrator said, sounding very stupid. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Jessica: So, instead of attacking Jeff, the cast attacked Alex for writing something pointless.

Lauren: Everyone yelled, "DOGPILE!!!" and ambushed Alex. They started attacking ferociously. But Alex suddenly disappeared and in his place appeared…

Jessica: A cute little monkey named Sunshine Bob Monkey! (Yes, monkeys are allowed in this story).
Elizabeth H.: Who was desperately in need of…

Jessica: Pink and brown bananas!

Allison: He had a passion for pink and brown bananas. Unfortunately, at that moment, Chris Garret appeared on the set. He started chanting, "Banananananananananananana…"

Emily: Before they could stop him, he exclaimed, "I know how to spell it, I just don't know when to stop…"
Miss Liz Strathmore (not Jessica) appeared and spelled it perfectly: "B-a-n-a-n-a. See, we Smith women KNOW how to spell!" Everyone sighed and she disappeared.

Allie: Karl Dingle started crying and wondered out loud where Liz went.

Paige: Liz was going to Africa on an expedition to study polar bears. "We Smith people are very smart, and I hope to see tons of polar bears in Africa."
"Bye Liz!" Waved Karl.

Jessica: Liz, (who was Jessica by now), grinned and waved as the Titanic slowly drifted off. She stopped smiling and waving when Jerry Foster, who was getting jealous, called Liz on her cell to tell her it was Karl, and not SBM, who was waving.

Marck: Then McKenzie came along in a submarine and attempted to sink the Titanic by drilling a hole in the bottom. When Liz realized the boat was sinking, she grabbed her scuba gear and dove in to study under water polar bears.

Emily: But then, Miss Denman exclaimed, "Why don't you study your LINES??? After all, the performance is in 4 days and NONE of you know your lines!"
Everyone nodded in agreement, then went back to the room with all the cool chairs to study their lines.

Jessica: Then Sam started reading everybody's lines in strange voices.

Elizabeth H.: While wearing a dirty-blonde wig and a pink jacket. Everyone got mad at him, because they didn't recognize him, what with his costume and all.

Emily: He looked just like a drummer from a certain rock-and-roll band.

Jessica: Since they didn't know it was him, they started throwing tomatos and booing.
Suddenly, it was the performance, and still no one knew their lines. Miss Denman announced that the whole show would be improvised. Jessie and Jessica were psyched.